A hole in the pants of a ‘true’ man might be not an issue to feel smart. But so often it happens that a woman opens her wardrobe and has quick sense: There is a full closet of clothes but nothing to put on!
And don’t even think about comforting her with a compliment that, you know, darling, but you are most pretty to me without any clothes on at all. By doing this you just confirm another common truth that all men are merely pigs and they are interesting in fornication only. Nobody cannot expect here any kind of aesthetically and spiritually expressed feelings; no romance and poetry; no proper size of the dress that fits her, no matching shoes to swoon upon, and no hand-bag to complete overall harmony. Dammit, crud.
Phenomenon of Nothing-To-Put-On is quite often, repeats periodically, and flares up when one is in love and during springtime when mother nature and hormones perk.
Knowing that, periodically, clothing stores renew not only their assortment but also showcase windows to lure personas suffering Nothing-To-Put-On syndrome in, like butterflies are lured to the flame.
From the showcases, fashion experts and stylist may judge about this season’s tendencies of women’s body decoration with clothing. But while having coffee in front of Tommy Hilfiger, my favorite store of cowboys’ working pants (jeans, if you mind), I hadn’t quick sense that I have nothing to put on (rather I have two options for each case, even few karategi; although you will laugh when hear that I got no heavy-weather sailing clothing for cold latitudes, but, to be fair, I really am not interested in such yachting because when the crew chatter their teeth from cold, someone might incidentally bite something valuable off… hey, I am talking about an ear, when you shout obscenities regarding steering course to it of the helmsman, who hardly hears you in a roaring wind – and what have you thought about in a mouth, naughty?).
Instead, I just thought: How all the local showcases reflect Lithuania as a maritime nation?
Probably, you may find more maritime reflections in a port city of Klaipeda. But I have looked around in the shopping malls of Vilnius, the capital city that is far from the Baltic seashore, checking the showcases there that indeed are luring yachtsmen and their romantic dames in. No payment for any ad was made to me here (and it’s a shame on you, dear vendors!).
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So let’s begin from the aforementioned (note that you may enlarge photo by clicking on it) – Tommy Hilfiger in Panorama mall:
Boat steering wheels; navy-striped lobsters inside; and navy-striped dog with a skipper’s hat on (somehow it reminds me skipper Darius ‘The Hollander’ Bulanavicius) and near the bollard and with some signal flags in the background:
If it goes for the contest, I definitely would vote for this showcase which gets all my endorsement, likes, and compliments!
In the Panorama mall, one may also find elegant Gant store for yachtsmen:
Sail riffed to a wooden boom in the background; everything is surrounded by wood that reminds of teak on the deck… Classy. Like skipper Dainius Silgalis’ Galento sets sail for the classic boat parade in Curonian Lagoon.
But it is sad that I found nothing else in this Panorama mall. For sure, I remember that Lindex was decorated alike last year but this year I see only echo in their clothing line but not in their showcase.
However, this maritime and yachting style is dominating more and more in our casual clothing and I can bet that landlubbers are not even aware how they are being manipulated by fashion designers, inspired by white sails of the boats along the Mediterranean costs (Caribbean style is a little bit different – this one is more of a shore from Marseilles and definitely closer to Nice, Monte Carlo of Monaco, and the rest French coast where sailing is popular).
Hm, should I join Lithuanian Yachting Union then? For I will get their navy blue blazer. But I don’t like their uniform grey trousers – I want white! Like in Rio. And like it was a uniform standard in a former Lithuanian Yachting Union between wars. I don’t like current grey trousers – not French-stylish enough, not right at all.
But of course I have navy blue summer blazer already! And white pants, what do you think! And stylish scarf (even two, as I said before). And even skipper’s hat.
So why am I looking in to these showcases at all…?
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The oldest mall in Vilnius is CUP (literally from Lithuanian: Central Department Store) but it brought no joy upon me.
Once a watch store was decorated in some yachting theme but it is luring only aviators now.
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Now let’s stroll across Constitutional Avenue towards still-new sky-scrapes that were erected by initiative of (and this is the only one good work while in the office, as far as I can recall now) yachtsman and current city mayor.
One of the buildings is called in a maritime manner: The Business Port. It is decorated with a bronze wave in front of the entrances that have none the less sailing names: The Mainsail Entrance and The Foresail Entrance, accordingly.
Wave in front of the Business Port building (photo from flickr.com by Igor Lysenkov)
But this walk takes us too far because we are checking for showcases here. So we must come back to Europa shopping mall where one may find two (just two…) stores of our interest.
First one is located right near the exit from the parking lot – Façionnable:
Sailing boat model inside (ha, mine has gaff-rigging and two more foresails!) and huge ad with couple of yachtsmen near the store (cannot be seen here – it didn’t fit in).
Lithuanian reps of this brand have no enthusiasm that it is of yachtsmen style by default, but they rather comfort themselves it sounds at least a la French and fashionable where sh is actually C with a hook. My lord, but jeans sellers over there have tried harder than these fashionables here!
You all already know the second store in the Europe mall and it is the Gant again:
Now a yachtsman has lost his head over two headless dames; lots of teak imitations; and in a background one can see full sails of a boat. Modestly, I would say, if compared not only to these jeans sellers but even to their own shop in the Panorama.
And that’s all about the maritime Europe. Let’s go to the mall named in honor of symbol at the cradle of human navigation – Akropolis (you heard it right – Acropolis), so-called ‘capital of entertainment and sales’.
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The biggest mall used to amuse same contingent of lemmings, for whom sinking ship Meridian was a symbol of a port city, with a big boat in interior near the naval Holland (?) windmill. But, despite this appeal to Greek sailors as Acropolis or, as Ermitazas (right, Hermitage that in Sankt-Petersburg), lame allusion to Russian navy with their window to Europe and to the sea and Russian gentry forced by tsar Peter’s order to learn to sail, this mall has no chance to beat his competitors with its showcases in maritime appeal contest. Even it’s a ‘capital’, even this retail chain Maxima has ‘though everything about’ (another their slogan).
Like here, Pull and Bear:
And what do they pull here? Some hanging-on-the-grip “sausages“ on their windsurfing boards?
It is a far outcry of haute couture yachting, which is represented by casual and unrelated to sailing and to the sea clothing on multicultural dummies.
But, right, one can see some seagulls. Like a sign of approaching storm. In Kaunas near Prisma store, seagulls compete with local “grizzles“ for content of trash cans.
Second store is FamClub that satisfies sophisticated taste of the yachtsman (as they see it):
One steering-wheel decorates some deck shoes (I may bet shop assistants will be very surprised if you say that’s deck shoes, not hipster shoes).
But another steering-wheel is put near the shoes that even most prettiest lady should not wear stepping on a teak deck. On the shore, you are most welcome. Or the deck is not of teak. Because a heart of sea wolf may withstand Cape Horn but not such brutal abuse of teak with spiked heels.
Some photos in the same theme line in the interior. All is cheap and clear, including designer’s idea of decoration. It’s even clear that jeans sellers are more maritime.
Third store hasn’t drove my attention and by pure accident I turned back and noticed some sailor clothing hanging inside – Tiffi:
But as I said you can find such clothes anywhere now. But since this mall is ‘a sales capital’ so let it have one shop more than others in this listing, right.
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Ozas (don’t laugh, Oz, right…) mall is operated by maritime nation of Finns but this fact is not reflected anyhow in its showcases. Not at all…?
Well, you see for yourselves. Gant, mentioned third time (but it is a different mall):
And what is all about this time?
No wind? Yachts are gone? What is this beau doing with a bicycle here? Is he really thinking that he is able to conquer a heart of some dame, merely being himself just a pedal-pusher?
Few 3-D coat hangers lost their heads turning them around and hopelessly looking for a yacht that this handsome cyclist came from. Other two male hangers lost theirs in this sparse palm-tree spinney afraid to be caught doing some not everywhere tolerable act of buggery, probably. No love and romance hangs in the air.
No need to hang here, too. And no love and maritime motives even in a shop operated by some yachtsman that is called in Russian Vetra Net [i nie budiet] (translates as ‘No Wind’ and won’t be):
I see they sell jackets. And there is ‘no wind’, right.
No wind here and nothing for it to blow in a showcase. No wind and no need for jackets, I see.
Enough time wasting here and let’s check time in a watch shop Chronos (not for some chronic latecomers).
Oh my god! My eyes! I see something related to my theme and even I see a boat! Not a sailing one but a powerboat, but still, at last!
Frederique Constant from Geneva is not yachtsmaster’s Rolex (or Yachtsmaster of Rolex, to be precise), for sure, but I am sure it still floats on the water as well.
And what a shame that across this miraculous Oz, I, definitely it is a miracle, found only one (!) showcase that relates to maritime theme and has a boat on the background: Some lumberjack from Timberland takes his rowing vintage boat out of the water near the sea bridge (in Palanga, probably). Facepalm.
But you need to be all eyes to see it in the right upper corner of the photo, hanging in the background.
For sale they have not deck shoes but deck boots – with boot-legs. What can you expect from foresters? They need to protect themselves from tick, not a deck teak from improper shoes.
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After such long walking, of course, my feet reminds about themselves.
I won’t tell you where I bought my shoes as I already paid money to the store but not the store paid me for their ad so don’t expect too much.
As I said before, there is my second pair (back-up as usual?). Old one is on the left and the new one I bought is not the pair on the left.
But overall, it should match my white trousers and navy blue blazer, shouldn’t it?
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So that’s how it is all about the showcase of maritime nation in Lithuanian capital.
There are appearing more and more maritime and sailing-style clothes and shoes in stores; more such what-not in office shops and decorations in interior shops. And all this makes me happier.
This feeling, that Lithuanians will become more of sailors and less of peasants in their gardens, is materializing and showing up with such signs in some showcases, too. Lithuanians already has become mountain skiers (so it was necessary to build the Snow Arena that in open round the year in Druskininkai), it is time for yachting now. At the moment, these showcases are ho-hum so far and more influenced by their brand owners than local reps.
Photo by Gina Meola from greylikesweddings.com
It will take some time. Just a little bit. But it is coming and is more noticeable in everyday clothing, as you already see.
And this shift in thinking affects sub-consciousness none the less than soviet bronze dummies on the Green Bridge that obviously comes out as ‘it was better under the Russians’, ‘say no for nuclear plant in Visaginas’, ‘Chevron go home’, and all the votes sold for two pilots on 10 Litas note or one poet priest on 20 Litas note, or desperate vote given to these who won last elections with only one plain stupid idea ‘we are not like prime minister Kubilius’ and had all the strategy for the Lithuanian development called ‘which ministry gives most kick-backs to us’ (do soc-dems and other lefty jerks differ in other countries much?).
Such maritime showcases are not understandable and are unnecessary for them, who stuck in the past and who cannot see further their noses. They would rather like matryoshkas and sausages under the logo “Soviet” (yes, we do have such brand and manufacturer claims it shows, don’t laugh, “high quality and there is no politics involved“, face-palm, but of course, you mind-buggered moron!)
But I prefer what I have shown you in these photos of showcases.
Photo from gaastraproshop.com
And navigation season is coming along springtime so why not to renew your wardrobe?
You even know now where to look.